Bicycles.

Okay, to start with I like exercise, I like to have adrenaline rushes. But what I cant stand is missing out on all that as some fuck of a fairy, probably named the bike chain bastard fairy, likes to go around taking your bike chain and ramming it so far into the gap of your pedals that not even the worlds strongest man can pull it out.

There are probably ways to get the chain out, or some magic trick to do so. But to be quite plainly honest, I couldn’t give a fuck. I didn’t pay for my bike too spend half the time fixing the bloody fucker. Now there isn’t an audio transcript for today’s events, but I’m sure it would of gone something like this.

Brett: *pant pant*
Bike: KRRRRKCCCRACKKKKKKKRRRRRKKKK
Brett: Ermmm…. Pant?
Bike: KRRRK *thudump*
Brett: WHA– *crash*

Yeah sound effects included for free. Needless too say I had little fun on my bike today, and so refuse to ride it for a very long time. At least a week that is.

In other news, I’ve got my DVLA forms. So watch out road users. Your days are numbered. That is of course, if they consider me mentally stable enough. Bollocks.

Bert.
(P.s, too any bike enthusiasts offended by today’s Blog Post. Please, get a life. And a car.)